This year 2011

This year 2011 is nearly over and I  can't help thinking to myself where has this year gone. Tomorrow my baby boy is 4 months old scary isn't it

I'm hoping next year brings us happiness love and little wealth would be nice but has long we have family and friends we can't go wrong

Happy new year to all xxxx

Happiness

Happiness comes in many forms

Career
Children
Travelling
Money
Family
Friends
Animals
Marriage
Divorce

Just to name some

Unfortunately the 4th one is linked to all of these which in some respects is either going to be a  helpful thing or a hinder.
The thing to remember is you don't need  much of the 4th item on the list to be happy.  Having to much can be harmful to some people and they become someone else.

It has taken me along time to understand that life is what you make of it, you are the only one who can make your dreams a reality.

I'm halfway there

Questions  you need to ask yourself is
" are you happy"
" how can I improve my life

I'm walking on my stepping stones of life and finally enjoying myself
" how about you"

Green Eyed Monster

Isn't it funny how  changes in life are either negitive, postive or both.

In my case It's both.....

I don't mind the sleepless nights and all those nappie changes, even when my baby boys a grumpy bum it's ok.
He arrived at 36 weeks and 5 days early so you imagine everyone was thrown out by his arrival.
I have a teenage daughter, a teenage step-daughter and now a baby boy.

My step- daughter I have to say has been very grown up and I know we've struggledwith our friendship I think he's brought us closer.

My daughter is now a teenager and is amazing but like with all teenagers the green eye monster rears that ulgy head once and while lately it's "I can't sleep because he's awake all night"  my response " join the club"  he's only 5 weeks old.

But out of all of this my favourite moments since he has been born are when my daughters  holds there baby brother, the way they all interact with each other is truelly breathtaking.

All  my children are amazing and I love them very much xxxxx

Motherhood

Got asked a interesting question today. I didn't even need to think about the answer its simple the answer is yes

The question

Are you enjoying being a mother again

I find myself feeling extremely happy I have been truly blessed I have a wonderful teenage daughter who has grown and maturing into a great version of me

My  baby son reminds me of my daughter when she was a baby they look a like at the moment.  I look at my children and I feel calm and relaxed these days.

All I need now would be my family to be closer

Love my family xxxxxx

Good Comment

I was reading through the comments left by my friends on Facebook today when i came across an interesting comment wasn't bitchy as such but put things into perceptive and really made me think.

He titled it the unsung hero's

Why is it when celebrities pass away it is splashed across the news and goes on for days, yes its tragic.

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE MEN AND WOMEN IN THE ARMED FORCES

They get a quick mention on the news and a photo and that's it. these people are the real deal and should get alot more respect than what they get. Is there a website dedicated to these people  if  so where if not why not.
these people put there lives on the line everyday regardless of the outcome.

It just goes to show where our loyalties lie.

Next chapter in life

show a little respect 

yes Amy Winehouse is dead
Yes she had a troubled life, but who doesn't.
at the end of the day she was a human being just like the rest of us, she's someones daughter, friend and partner.

it saddens me to think that people cant even wait a few days before the cruel comments and nastiest begins.

Out of the blue

Had an unexpected  phone call today,    my dad

Before you ask no he didn't see my blog, shame really but hey that's life we had a decent chat there were a few moments were i wasn't sure what to say, it was only after speaking to my mum that i realised how long it had been since i had seen him properly.     7 months

The most obvious question i had to ask was  where are you?

Second are u going to see your gran children?

A few moments later i did get a response 

we will wait and see if he keeps to his decision.

I thank god everyday that i have my mum who is a strong mature adult and deserves the title MOTHER.

My sister who is very wise and loved by everyone who has the fortune to know her.

My brothers granted we don't see each other very often but knowing that your happy and safe is enough.

Miles apart but always in my heart and thoughts 

When did the children become the adults and the parents become the children. 

 

Times are changing

September is coming  i'm nervous

For you that don't know i'm giving birth for the second time in this month, now most mothers who have done this will understand the anxiety and the nerves that come with this. Granted if we do decide to go down this road again we will not be leaving a huge age gap this time (13 years ).

well its true what they say every time is different which makes sense when you think about different baby or babies.

My biggest concerns at the moment is how my family is coping with this big change, i'm starting understand my husbands concerns and his own anxiety's when it comes to this change. My daughter is doing well very nervous about being a big sister and is often worried about our unborn child is coping, same probably applies to my step-daughter too.

soon they will here his heart beat for the very first time if they choose too. decision is there's.

As for myself well most important thing at the moment is the baby and he's strong and healthy just looking forward to his arrival. kicking away which i have to say is the most amazing feeling ever, reminds me when i carried my daughter. 

Good memories.

  

 

Father's Day

What does Father's Day really mean?

I really wanted to wish my dad a happy father's day but i cant because i don't where he is, i cant even tell him that I'm expecting my second child something that hurts everyday that he doesn't know. if  i'm totally honest about how i feel i would say i feel cheated by his actions not so much for my sake but for the gran kids. He is missing out on their futures which makes me angry from time to time.

Our kids grow up so quick, every moment is precious, regardless of their age.

when we do meet up it's a difficult situation because you don't know what to talk about and then comes the silence.
 Don't get me wrong i love my dad but just wish he'd take a moment and think. 

NOT BLOODY GOOD ENOUGH DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY IF YOU HAVE A CHILD/REN  REGARDLESS WHETHER ITS YOUR OWN OR A STEP-CHILD/REN OR A GRAN CHILD/REN  HAVE THE COMMON SENSE TO LOVE AND CARE FOR THAT CHILD/REN  PLEASE.

Anyone can be called dad but it takes a real man to be given the title FATHER. 

Head for heights

Spent the day at Hautbois with great company through out, the sun was shining couldn't of asked for better weather. but the most amazing thing about today had to be my 13 year old she faced her demons and Climbed the wall which i am so happy and proud about then went on to do the Zip wire and some Archery.

Heres  the photos thanks to my mother and father in law for the amazing photos

  your amazing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

stress

I'm beginning  to wander which is more stressful being a parent of a newborn/toddler or of a teenager i guess the answer would be both. I'm soon to have both situations yay me, i thank god for my family.

Out of all the jobs out there we have the most stressful.

Everybody has a invisible barrier that once you cross theres no going back, a few people have crossed my barrier and i no longer consider them a friend.
sorry it was your choice and you made it, deal with it i have.
sadly with family though they always get  another chance, lucky streak i guess but when does that luck run out.

wish life could be simple but if it was simple it would be boring.

Baby bump

I keep getting asked if i will put a photo on the internet of my baby bump so here it is
5 months and counting due in September. 

Why?

Why is being a parent so hard?
Where do you draw the line?
When do you decide to let them go it alone?

"What happens if " is a common thought which occurs in every parents head, whether its from the time of your birth to the time you leave home and for most the amount of  times you return home.
This isn't something that you enter into lightly,  anybody who thinks being a parent is easy is either in denial or a fool.

I give a big thumbs up every parent and step- parent who takes on this responsibly and sticks with it.
There have been a through times with my step-child where i have wanted to draw the line but i have thought she's  young and i have given her another chance but the older she gets the harder it becomes,  its her decision at the end of the day but i will say this,  once that decision has been made there's no going back, anybody who knows me properly knows what  i'm saying.

As far as letting them going it alone they will spread their wings when they are ready and they will  stumble a few times which is expected but they won't learn if they don't try,  i learn't this from someone very special to me

Note:  two my two teenage daughters and my unborn child, my love for you will at times be tested but will never go away. xxxxx  
     

Time to decide.

I try to look at the glass has being half full, i don't always succeed but at least i try.

I don't understand the point in being negative about everything not looking around you and seeing the positive signs which surround us.
Family and friends who do nothing but give their love and support regardless of their own situations.
but the biggest response i've found is when it comes from a complete stranger who knows nothing about you these are the most remarkable people to me,  they aren't afraid to show a little compassion.

We all have it in us to be these remarkable people it's to you to decide whether you think it's worth it.

I see everyday situations and i have random thoughts which i must write down.

20 week scan

Not long had my 20 week scan and all signs are pointing towards a  BABY BOY just got think of some names all suggestions welcome.....

The baby and the birthday cake

My 13 year old daughter asked me tonight if she could write some story's for our unborn child so she can read them to him/her when the baby is born which i thought was a fanstantic idea so here is the first.

ENJOY..... 

On a hot sunny day a birthday party was taking place there were  balloons of all different colors and sizes, banners with birthday girl written on them but the best thing of all was the birthday cake.

The birthday cake was pink with purple spots and Nannie had made it so it was going to be good.

All the children where playing outside on the bouncy castle which was shaped like a giant jellybean there was lots of giggles and smiley faces coming from outside, The birthday girl was having fun too.

The table was set and everyone was sitting round ready to eat, Nannie went to get the baby and Grandad went to light the birthday cake, but when Grandad went into the kitchen to get the birthday cake it wasn't there, he searched and searched the kitchen for the birthday cake,  where could it be? 

Nannie couldn't find the baby so she searched and searched and then saw crumbs,  she followed the crumbs and guess what she found?

leave a comment and create an ending for this story, the best ending will be the finishing touch. 

charlotte's day surgery

Today Charlotte has had day surgery to have a skin tag removed, it was the first time she was under general anesthetic.

The nurse that was looking after her was called Judith and had a 13 year old daughter call charlotte (small world)

She was in theatre and recovery for only half an hour and when they wheeled her back she was out of it, it was so funny watching her wake up, checking she's got both arms (someone might have told her that they put labels on both arms incase they chop off an arm by accident wonder who that was Steven) and not knowing where she is. It's now been 45 minutes since she was wheeled back and she seems more with it, she's now getting dressed and about to go home.

She has been a brave girl and Steven and i are proud of  her and a big thank you to the staff at the hospital

Confession time

I'm 4 months pregnant and i have a confession, i took my daughter who is 13 years old swimming today but i myself chickened out of swimming because i haven't rounded off yet i just felt fat. which is stupid considering i'm bringing a beautiful creation into the world and i can't understand why i feel like is.

but i have to say i saw a pregnant  lady there today and she looked amazing with her bump and it made me  realise that just because i haven't rounded off yet doesn't mean i shouldn't go swimming.

so i am off at the weekend hopefully to buy a new swimming costume and i am going to bite the bullet.

swimming here i come........

Not a cook

I'm not a fan of cooking, we  just don't mix. But i decided tonight to make macaroni cheese from scratch i used to make the cheese sauce years ago so when my sister asked me to make it when visited hers at the weekend i did hesitate but decided what the hell.

it wasn't that bad and our unborn baby loved it. my other child turned her nose up at it but hey thats a teenager for you.

Been thinking i might take up cooking again or i could leave it up to my hubby who is a natural when it comes to this.

get better soon hubby we miss your cupcakes lol.

Need a little time

My daughter is now a teenager happy birthday baby
Just this moment got back from a long journey up north, been to see my mum and sister.
i love my family and wish we lived a lot closer, i envy people sometimes who can pop across the road and see their parents anytime they want. they don't realise how good they got it.

Anyway Charlotte got some skates from her Nan for her birthday which i have to say are pretty snazzy and she doing really well on them better than i could. she is truly made up with them. it was nice to see my sister and Charlotte on the roller rink enjoying themselves.

All in all the weekend was a success which couldn't have happened if it wasn't for my lovely hubby who did all the driving, my mum and sis for just being the fantastic people that they are.

LOVE YOU ALL xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pregancy No. 2

Here i am again,

It's been almost 13 years  since i had my daughter. i thank god everyday for her being healthy and lovely.
wouldn't change her for the world even when she is a moody bum but hey thats a almost teenager for you.

This pregnancy is alot different to my first. makes me wonder whether this time i'm having a boy.  
guess i will soon find out which i looking forward too at least then i can finally settle on a name.
 
Roll on September when i can meet the little one

The step-child/ren

mmmmmm being a step-parent is not for the faint hearted.

i've known my step-child since she was 4 years old and considering she is a teenager in August many of you would think i would have a basic understanding of this person and what she needs.

WRONG i thought i did.

imagine your worst nightmare and x that by 1000 and you now have a vague idea what i have to deal with on a regular basis. granted its only got worse since she started high school but we haven't had a great relationship to start off with.
it seems no matter what i do i get rejected which is fine i am not trying to replace her mother or her father.
and yes she has both which is strange but does happen.

Question :  what are benefits of a being a step-parent.

Being a parent

Being a parent is one of the hardest Jobs in the world and not to be taken lightly, theres so many challenges and don't mention the stress levels. my daughter is turning 13 years old in April so as u can imagine i'm getting all the teenage dramas and moody moments.

then theres the fact i'm nearly 14 weeks pregnant which don't get me wrong i'm excited and cant wait to meet the little one and yes i'm nervous but i know i will cope , this time round i'm married and have a good hubby.

but the hardest part of my life is my step daughter ........